How Big Brother is Destroying the Youth

I’m Lost – Message from the Youth

When I was in high-school, I spent a lot of time listening to my older friends(in their early-mid 20′s) kvetch about feeling lost; worthless; empty.  “I’m going nowhere”, they would say, as we swept up popcorn from a movie theater floor, or sucked back smoke from a chonger in the back alley of a 24 hour coffee-shop. I sympathized, but couldn’t possible empathize, as my immediate fate was already decided for me; work @ night and school during the day. I couldn’t think farther than passing next term, next year, getting my G.E.D.
Lost and Bewildered

Lost and Bewildered

I also knew, vaguely, what i wanted in life after high-school.  I wanted to become an English teacher. I didn’t consider how to go about doing that.  I just had the idea in my head, an idea i wouldn’t let go of.
lost inside myself
I have now been out of school for a year.  I decided to take a year off, a gap year, before making any final decision as to going to college; or traveling, as was strongly suggested to me after graduating. I am now the one breaking down, feeling lost, worthless, empty.  I registered in school, but didn’t enroll in classes, for reasons I cant quite understand. I secured myself a position in one of the worst work environments a privileged white teen (with a soul) could imagine, short of finding oneself where most of ones clothes are made: A sweatshop….
beautiful things

I rented a basement suite with a roommate who, like me, is going nowhere fast. I keep trying to tell myself what i told my friends just a few years ago, not to worry, that it will all work out as it should, when it should.  I believe that still, but I can’t help the anxiety and fear from creeping in.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>